Posts Tagged 'Community'

hymns make me yawn

There, I said it.

It’s not a dig - I think there are some incredible hymns. Strong lyrics, deep theology, layered history - cool stuff. But hymns make me yawn (literally) - I usually don’t make it through the first verse before this involuntary response kicks in. My wife laughs at it, because I’ll make it through an entire church service - even the day - without yawning… unless we sing a hymn.

More than likely, the problem has less to do with my biology and more to do with my preference in music… but it’s entertaining to watch either way.

I used to really struggle with churches I didn’t view as contemporary. 

Struggle is actually a weak word - I used to hate churches I didn’t view as contemporary. I saw them as antiquated. I saw them as foolish. I talked about how they were doing damage to the body of Christ.

This stage in my life went on for years. I was near venomous towards “traditional” churches, their congregants and especially their leaders. I went to a “good church” where we sang songs that sounded like stuff on the radio and where our building looked like an airport or shopping mall, not (gasp) a church! The bottom line frustration: they did church different.

As I prayed about this, one phrase from Scripture came to mind: “Why do you persecute me?” My negativity was tearing apart the Body of Christ, and I thought somehow I was doing Jesus favors. I thought that if we all looked the same - if we all did church the same - if we all looked like my little part of the body - the world be a better place. In reality it was one part of the body shouting to a completely different part: Be like me!

It took me the better part of a year and the help of a close friend to work through this. I had to drop all my little quips against these churches. I had to apologize to some people. Most of all, I had to let God change my heart so I could see these churches as vital parts of the Body of Christ - even if they would never be my style.

The final test was if I was humble enough not just to keep myself from going negative, but to actually be a positive influence for them - to support other types of churches. That if I met someone who I knew would fit better in the part of the body that sings hymns, even thought that wasn’t my thing, that I would recommend a traditional church - even talk it up as much as I would talk up my own church.

Until I was comfortable enough to support the whole body, how could I be a beneficial part of it?

This is part of my journey - how about yours?

dtr

Normally dtr’s are for dating couples - but after yesterday’s post, I think I have some defining the relationship to do as well. (Questions are lifted from the comments section, as of this morning.)

Is an acquaintance a relationship (that you should approach if they are wrong)?

For me, I work with what I have. If I don’t know someone well, but have some sort of relationship with them and God has laid it on my heart to speak to them - I run with it. I’ll often admit I don’t know them well, but felt led to talk. I’ll encourage them to respond if they want to, but to take it all with the wisdom of what God is doing in their life, and what their close friends are telling them.

What about someone who serves as a volunteer?

This one is easier. If someone is involved in ministry, they have placed themselves under the authority of the pastor that leads that church and ministry. If the volunteer needs to be approached by a pastor, Scripture is clear this is part of the pastoral relationship. (That doesn’t make the conversation easy, just the mandate to talk to them.)

Should we confront people we do not know, as we are all members of the Body of Christ?

I think there is a lot of flexibility on this. Yesterday, as I was writing, I was thinking back to the times in my life where someone who has no connection with me has stepped in and blasted me. These are the people that think they are the moral police of the world. In this case, I stand firmly by what I wrote yesterday.

However, I think there may be circumstances where someone outside of relationship, but familiar with us, genuinely wants to talk to us - to address something out of love. While I would see this as a possibility, and accept it, I have not experienced it.

The main thing for me is love. We have to love one another enough to approach each other, as well as enough to celebrate our differences (even if we will never see eye to eye. 

I love the quote Henry left in the comments a few days ago:  ”We can still walk hand in hand without seeing eye to eye.”

What would you add?

when someone is wrong

Yesterday I talked through some of my struggles with unity. Today I want to look at how I can maintain unity with others when someone is wrong in what they are doing. In yesterday’s post, I called it category two - when someone really is wrong. So, this is my plan of attack:

  1. If I’m in relationship with this person, it is my duty as a brother in Christ to talk with them. It may be that there is more to the situation that I don’t understand. It may be that they need encouragement. Or correction. Or rebuking. 
  2. If I’m not in relationship with them, I need to start with prayer. If I have no relationship with them, I have no business trying to hold them accountable. 

This is why it is so important for leaders to have strong relationships and accountability in their lives. When someone outside of relationship tries to tell us what we are “doing wrong,” it is called judging. When someone in relationship show us where we are wrong, and then helps us get right, it is called love. 

There is a big difference in how these two will present. When people outside relationship approach someone with a problem, they typically want to do all the talking - to show the person how messed up they are. When people inside relationship approach their friend with a problem, they want to have a conversation - to help the person make changes and grow.

The key example here is the person who blasts someone on their blog and the person who prayerfully has a conversation with a person to incite change. One is completely out of relationship and obviously does nothing more than tear another person down, the other leverages the relationship for restoration.

This can also give leaders peace. Even when others are tearing a leader down for what they are called to do, if the idea was birthed in community, and guarded by accountability, the leader can move forward with confidence

Unity involves two things - relationship and prayer. It means I get down and dirty in the relational circle God has given me, and it means I pray my heart out when I see someone outside of relationship who is struggling. If God does not open a pathway for me to form a relationship with the person, I have no business stirring disunity within the body.

What do you think?

one body, many parts

I was reading in Ephesians chapter one this weekend and was struck by the simplicity of what Paul says the mystery of God’s will is. The thing everyone has been trying to figure out - the end game for the world - is unity. God wants all things to be united under Him. No more separation. No more splinter cells. No more arguing.

Unity.

The trouble for me is that no matter how much I talk about God’s plan for unity, some schmo always does something I perceive as wrong. And I don’t want to be united with people who do things wrong. I want to tear those people down. I  talk to others about how stupid it is that they do what they are doing. I shake my head in disapproval.

In these moments, I am an instrument of disunity.

There are a couple reasons I could perceive something as wrong:

  1. It is not right for the part of the body of Christ I’m a part of - so it looks wrong. But who am I to tell a different part of the body how to work?
  2. It really is wrong.

Category one is where most things fall for me. I am a knee and see a femur that just wont bend, budge or move - and I blast them for their inflexibility. Little do I realize, that femur is holding me in place. If their part of the body bent, they would snap, and if they snapped it’s my part of the body that would crash into the pavement first.

It is unity that holds us together. Unity that allows us to function as one body with many parts. Unity. I must not only be understanding, I must be supportive. I must be united.

I want to look at category two in another post, but for today - what are your experiences in category one? Has someone from a different part of the body judged you? Have you judged someone else?

power of a team

I did a post a while back where I said, Anything I do alone in ministry is a failure. If you hang around me long, you know I am fasinated by the power of a team.

There is something amazing about connecting with people in such a way that we accomplish something together we never could have accomplished alone.

One of my goals as a leader is to stay ahead of my team. If I can pave the way for where they are headed - for what is next - then I feel like I have succeeded in serving them. The tuff part is, the more talented the team, the more work it is to stay ahead of them. Here’s what I’ve found that helps:

  • I must have alone time to refuel/recharge/refocus before I can lead effectively. This alone time is less about leadership of the team (quote above…) and more about self leadership in preparation for leading the team.
  • I have to cast the vision to individuals before I cast it to the group - this allows me to see their reaction, learn their concerns and shape the way I cast to the group. (It also means there is always someone for which staff meeting is a rerun of a conversation we had the other day.)
  • I will often get the vision for what is next and  work with one or two people on the team to pave the way for the rest of the team. Getting ahead is not easy, but if I work with the most gifted people in the room, it is significantly more simple.
More often than not, I’ve found my time with God alone, having the opportunity to hear people’s responses the first time I cast vision and working with a small group of people, changes and shapes the vision as it comes to life. This is the power of a team. 

power in numbers

Reflections on the One Prayer Fast

Last week we did a communal fast at Fellowship Church. It was a week full of listening to God and caffeine headaches.

Honestly, Friday was my most difficult day. Friday’s are my day off and I spend most of the day at home, disconnected from the folks I normally do life with. One of the biggest things I learned through the week was the power of strong Christian community.

Isolation primes us for attack. In my case, the cravings were stronger and the reasons to quit were more clear than ever - I lacked focus because I lacked friendship.

Fortunately my awesome wife was there to help - coming up with creative dinner ideas and helping us make it through the home stretch.

Lesson of the week: Community is the context for growth.

fast - what has God shown you?

(One Prayer Fast Day 5)

I would love to hear some of the things God has shown you over the fast. Post your journey!

fast food

(One Prayer Fast Day 4)

There are so many people doing this fast - it’s been incredible to be a small part in something so big. The first time our church fasted like this, I was a little taken back by some of the things people ate or didn’t eat on the fast. 

Things that, by my interpretation of the guidelines, had no place in the fast were common place with a couple of people and families. On the other hand, things I felt were 100% okay, others abstained from.

This time is no different. A friend of mine walked into a meeting the other day with an Izze. For Emily and I, we drink these all the time and we’re not doing carbonated beverages during the fast - so an Izze would be off the list (and highly tempting). But for my friend, an Izze is a huge sacrifice from the normal cuisine.

Ultimately I’ve come to realize that fasting is about sacrifice. And everyone is sacrificing right now.

What we’re doing  has so little to do with what you eat and what you do not eat - it has everything to do with the focus you hold, the sacrifice you make and the discipline you build.

The community is fasting. But that means different things for different people, because we are all at different places in our walk with God (not to mention our diet!). The important thing is that we build each other up, help one another and don’t get caught up in legalistic judging.

When the community fasts, it is just as much about community as it is about fasting.

communal fasting

(One Prayer Fast Day 2)

There are big differences between communal and personal fasting. With One Prayer, our community at Fellowship Church has united together in a communal fast. Below are some of my personal thoughts on communal fasting and my experiences thus far (as well as in the past).

  • When we fast together we find the strength, accountability, encouragement and power that God has built in to our Christian community. This requires a certain level of openness, but without a doubt, the people who journey through the fast with us are people who are surrounded by the support of the community God has placed them in.
  • Leaders need to share openly about their struggles in a communal fast. The first time Fellowship Church fasted, I will never forget watching a video blog Ed did. He shared his struggles and I thought - he’s struggling too? There was vulnerability for him to share this and it encouraged me that I wasn’t’ the only one stretched by fasting.
  • When we fast together, and allow certain foods and disallow other foods, it builds discipline. The Bible teaches us there are essentially two options in life, good and evil. These two options are not all that far apart and it takes spiritual discipline on the part of the Christian to live in a dark world, but not of it. Fasting from certain foods builds discipline. It focuses the mind, trains the heart and helps us grow spiritually to prepare for the battles ahead.

separation

I was reading in Genesis 1 yesterday and was hit with the question: Why did God separate light from darkness - why didn’t He destroy darkness? It could have all ended there - just light, no darkness.

Then I realized, as long as there is free will, there will be separation. Options. Choice.

In Genesis 1, God does a lot of separation. Just in the first three days, He separates light from darkness, waters in the sky from waters on the earth and seas from land. Later in Scripture He separates the Temple from the people, the Holy place from the rest of the Temple and the Most Holy place from the Holy place.

Most Christians today, when you ask them what Holiness is, will say, “separation.” God is Holy. He is separated. He is different.

Yet so many Christians make their lives about destruction. 

Is there destruction in Scripture? Absolutely. But notice, it does not come at the hands of a merciless God. It comes as the result of a people not choosing the path of light. It comes as a consequence of darkness. 

There tends to be little mercy in our Christian culture today. It’s easier to destroy another human’s heart than it is to help them heal from their separation. It’s easier to destroy organizations, causes and ideals than to separate our lives from them and still remain connected to the people as a source of light.

Maybe our lives should be modeled more after Genesis 1 - separation. Instead of trying to destroy things in the world that oppose God, we should separate ourselves from them. I’m not talking cultural disconnect, I’m talking Holiness. God remained sovereign over the darkness, we should remain connected to the people who are in darkness as we serve as ministers of reconciliation.

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You wont find much here. There is no product to buy, no club to join and no reason to send your money. This blog gives glimpses of my journey.
Pieces of my walk with God.
Echoes of redemption.
Hopefully my journey will help you on your journey.

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